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Jacobethan's avatar

Splitting out into a separate post my thoughts on your advice:

Re: graduation, the part that seems unaddressed in both the "conventional wisdom" and your own take is the writer's sense of alienation from the institution s/he's graduating from. Granted, it's not unusual to have some accumulated frustrations with one's school by the time it's over, it's not clear where the writer falls on the spectrum from annoyance to principled rejection, and the answers might still be "suck it up" (CW) or "talk to your mom" (DL) regardless. But you do seem to treat the writer's situation as just the usual case of aesthetic distaste/indifference to the ritual of graduation versus going through the motions for form's and family's sake.

If the writer is saying, "graduation is tedious, and especially tedious given that I don't even really *like* my school," then your advice is perfectly on-point. But if what the writer is balking at is taking part in a celebration of the school's own conception of its purpose and virtues that s/he's come to regard as a farce or a sham or even a fraud, that raises a different set of issues IMO.

Again, these are all matters of degree. But insofar as what the writer is complaining about is the dominance of the institutional culture by the loudest, most extreme voices, I think maybe the tiebreaker should go to bowing out of graduation and quietly telling friends and others why you're doing so. Often a vocal minority is able to wield disproportionate power simply because many of the people who disapprove never realize that their neighbors feel the same way. Skipping graduation isn't exactly an "I am Spartacus" moment, nor should it be, but it's a small expressive signal just like showing up in your regalia is, and it's worth thinking about how best to use it.

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Jacobethan's avatar

That's a great quote from Lisa Blatt. Totally agree. As someone who also now and again gets accused of being "passionate," I feel like that just misses the point of what lawyering is about. An attorney's job is ultimately to sustain a kind of double emotional detachment. Detachment from one's own choice of ends, so as to commit oneself fully to those chosen by the client; and detachment from the client's choice of means, so as to offer a candid, unbiased assessment of their legal implications.

I guess it's all well and good if passion works its way in there somewhere, but I'm with Lisa that on its face it sounds more like a bug than a feature.

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