Notice And Comment: The Wheels Of Justice

If Supreme Court justices were cars, what would each justice be?

A Jaguar at rest (photo by Ralf Schlegel on Unsplash).

Welcome to Original Jurisdiction, the latest legal publication by me, David Lat. You can learn more about Original Jurisdiction by reading its About page, you can reach me by email at davidlat@substack.com, and you can subscribe by clicking on the button below.

This morning the Supreme Court handed down five decisions. They were mostly low-profile but did include Carson v. Makin, a significant First Amendment case holding that Maine violated the Free Exercise Clause when it excluded religious schools from a tuition-assistance program for private schools. With 13 rulings to go and more opinions expected on Thursday and next week, the Court should be able to finish announcing all of its decisions before the end of June, the usual end of its Term.

While we wait for more from SCOTUS, here’s a question for your consideration:

If the justices were cars, what would each justice be?

This Notice and Comment topic was inspired by a recent discussion I had with some conservative friends. Here are their suggestions (which reflect their ideological leanings, as you’ll see):

Chief Justice Roberts: a Jaguar.

“Fancy, nice-looking, but wholly unreliable.”

Or maybe a Land Rover: “Superb pedigree, but reliability leaves something to be desired.”

Justice Thomas: a Ford Mustang.

“A quintessentially American muscle car, but not to everyone’s liking.”          

Or maybe a Corvette, which Justice Thomas drove in his younger days—with the license plate “RES IPSA.”

Justice Breyer: a Mercedes E-class.

“Elegant but a bit pretentious, in a European sort of way; not super-thrilling.”

Justice Alito: a black Lincoln Town Car.

“Conservative, reliable, formidable but unexciting.”

Justice Sotomayor: a Toyota Prius.

“Extremely progressive, with an extra helping of virtue signaling.”

Justice Kagan: a Subaru.

“Highly rated, solidly progressive, not flashy.”

Or if a Subaru isn’t high-end enough, a Genesis G90: “Not famous to the masses, but recognized for excellence by those in the know.”

Justice Gorsuch: a silver Cadillac Escalade.

“Rugged, luxurious, attention-grabbing—makes its presence felt. License plate ‘SLVRFOX.’”

Justice Kavanaugh: an Uber with a 4.3 rating.

“Probably reliable… but you always worry a bit.”

Justice Barrett: a Tesla.

“An exciting newcomer, but too new to have a reliability record.”

Readers, you get the idea. Please share your automotive analogues for the members of the Supreme Court in the comments to this post (or you can email me and I can post on your behalf, in case you don’t want to comment under your own name). As usual for Notice and Comment posts, comments are open to all readers, not just paid subscribers.

I’m especially interested in hearing from liberals or progressives, since the foregoing suggestions came from conservatives. Thanks!

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